By Deb Sweeney

Surveying the granola bar wrappers, orphaned socks, Happy Meal toys, and pairs of Winnie the Pooh underwear (how did that get in there, anyway?) inside the Sweeney family van, the love of my life frequently asks me how I can stand to have my car so messy. 

This question always amuses me, since this is the same love of my life with whom I shared the experience of having refluxing preemies who projectile vomited every time we went in the car. The level of squalor these days is nothing compared to that. I also laugh at the idea that the big green machine can be in any way called “my” car. It’s a kidmobile, no more and no less. Here are some tips on making your family vehicle the most functional kidmobile it can be. 

Buy carefully. Used is good. Pre-stained is good. Leather, ironically, is good (wipes off easier). Big is good, to accommodate grandparents or to pick up your kids’ friends. One of my big regrets is that no car short of a bus has room for any extra passengers once our family is in it. Ratcheting seat belts that don’t require a “locking clip” to accommodate a car seat are good. Built-in car seats are fantastic for toddlers and up.

Seat safely. Buy new car seats and replace yours if they are more than six years old. Follow the installation instructions and get help if you can’t get the seat to fit in your car correctly (we did, and those guys were ingenious – see www.seatcheck.org) Once the seats are in and cinched down, try never to move them. An infant seat with a carrier that detaches from a fixed base is almost an essential in my mind. 

Give careful thought to the seating arrangement. Permanent seat assignments decrease arguments and speed up the embarkation and debarkation process.

Deciding who sits where, though, is about as complex as seating for a state dinner. Who will fight with who? Who has longer arms to hit somebody? Who needs help with buckling in? (These kids should be closest to the car door, or close to an older child who can help.) Where will the seats actually fit in the car? Do you need an older child near the front to pass items to the rear? Teach your kids to stand touching the side of the car while everyone else gets out.

Stock carefully. We follow the “Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy” rule for intergalactic travel – never leave home without a bath towel. It’s good for everything from sitting on the soccer sidelines to motion sickness. Also a box of baby wipes – even if none of your kids still wears diapers, they’re good for hand and face wiping.

If you do have young children, a “backup box” of diapers, wipes, clean clothes, and a sippy cup should take up permanent residence (be sure to update the stash – it’s no fun to find size 1 diapers when your kid now wears a 4).  Bottled water (or a big thermos of ice – ours lasts close to a week) has saved us from total meltdown many times. We store sports equipment (and beach toys, goggles and towels in the summer) right in the car to avoid forgetting them. A first aid kit is good, too, though Band-Aids, Tylenol and Cortaid alone will go a long way. 

Think hard about food and toys. To eat or not to eat in the car – tough question. There’s no doubt it can be convenient and pacify the passengers. One the other hand, it makes the car pretty disgusting. Our rule is water only – no other beverages.  For food, try to set workable guidelines – only on long trips, only certain foods. Same with toys – do they really need a toy to survive for 10 minutes? Provide a trash bag and a “good stuff” box for clean up – waiting for the gas tank to fill is a great time for the kids to get out of their seats and pick up the car.

Say no to in-car chaos. I once read that a driver with little kids in the backseat is more impaired than a drunken driver, and exaggerated or not, I take the point. Take the time to stop the car and lower the hammer if needed to train the kids to behave in the car. Everyone’s safety could depend in it. 

I have to admit, I have great affection for our kidmobile – for all its mess, it’s the scene of a lot of family fun. One last tip though …  if we ever go anywhere together … you might want to drive. 

Deb Sweeney is an Eden Prairie parent of five children ages 4 to 11. You can submit a topic or question to Deb at realparent100@yahoo.com. Sweeney’s column appears the third week of the month.