Hamburgers: a meaty subject?

By Judith Borger

(Editor’s note: As a part of its continuing effort to limit objectivity, the EP News sent its cuisine editor to taste test the two hamburger joints in town.)

For the hamburger connoisseur, the Lyon’s Tap is still king of the beasts here. But the new McDonald’s on Highway 5 apparently has something to offer for people who think they really do deserve a break today.

In step with its usual magnanimity, the EP News offered to spring for lunch Tuesday if I could put away two hamburgers and two orders of fries.

My first sojourn was to McDonald’s. I ordered a hamburger (30 cents) and fries (30 cents).

The woman behind the counter was cheery in her sky-blue uniform. The Muzak was happy. The tables were spotless. The sun poured in the window. The art work on the wall depicted wholesome children.

The hamburger was awful. It bore a striking similarity to compressed sawdust. I half expected to get a sliver in my tongue. But for 30 cents, the bun, ketchup, mustard and onions were palatable. You get what you pay for.

The fries were nothing to write home about either. Just your run of the mill, well salted, a little greasy McDonald’s fries. Then it was on to the Lyon’s Tap, where the atmosphere was a little more, shall we say, down home.

A sign off to the side of the bar said, “Ask about our friendly credit plan … and get a rap in the mouth!” You could buy cigarettes or chewing tobacco. Or for $1.50 you could get a pen picturing a woman in a bathing suit. With a little wrist action, the bathing suit melted away.

The juke box wailed at the plight of the Edmund Fitzgerald and customers drank beer while arguing over the recent Vikings game.

The hamburger was 70 cents and only slightly larger than the McDonald’s fare. But it tasted like real meat. The onions, ketchup and mustard were obviously not intended to mask the taste.

Fries were 50 cents, bringing the total meal to twice that of McDonald’s but the portion of fries was about double what I got at the golden arches. They were meaty, crinkled and not greasy.

The noon lines at both places proved that there are an awful lot of people in Eden Prairie who like hamburgers. It would seem that the people at the Lion’s Tap like to pay more for their burgers in the atmosphere of a small town bar. The McDonald’s customers would rather save their pennies and stick with a quick lunch in a suburban store.

Myself, I’d rather avoid both. I don’t like hamburgers.

For more information, visit www.lionstap.com.