Young employee to middle aged employee: You should see my Asian drug dealer about that.

Plymouth, Rainbow Foods
Overheard by I just want my cookies.

Girl Talking to Friends: My New Year’s Eve sucked; I had to spend it with my family at the cabin and my mom was all hostile towards me all night because I left a root beer in the car.

Plymouth, Wayzata Highschool
Overheard by Better Root Beer than just Beer.

Boy to friend while walking: I think I’m going to take that class as a pass/fail. That way, I only have to go half the time.

St. Peter, Gustavus Adolphus College
Overheard by good idea!

Drunk man #1 (while throwing down pool cue): It’s over! I did it.
Drunk man #2: Did what?
Drunk man #1: I got the 9 ball in!
Drunk man #2: Isn’t it supposed to be the 8 ball?
Drunk man #1 (while walking away from pool table back toward bar): Dude! I don’t know how MANY balls are on the table!

Minneapolis, Railstation Bar & Grill
Overheard by relizjones.

Man to the woman he was with, presumably his wife: I see how this marriage is going to be. Full of trickery and beef-stealing.

St Louis Park, Perkins
Overheard by The couple at the table behind them, stifling laughter.

Roommate #1: What did you get for Christmas?
Roommate #2: I got a ticket for a boat cruise on Lake Minnetonka.
Roommate #1: Really?! Can you go in the winter?!

St. Paul, St. Thomas
Overheard by The smartest Roomie.

20 something girl in fitting room to her friend in the fitting room next to hers: I just realized I’m not wearing any panties!

Minneapolis, Urban Outfitters
Overheard by GOOD JOB!!!!!!!!!

Woman with bags, smiling as she excused herself from the inside seat: I left the seat nice and warm for you.

Saint Paul, 21 Bus
Overheard by Jenn.

Impatient girl looking disgustingly at her phone, to boyfriend: Maybe you should spend less time taking pictures of your poop and texting them to me and more time just getting on with it!

Mall of America outside bathroom
Overheard by They must have a REALLY close relationship.

Teen Girl #1, looking at Heath Ledger Joker bobblehead:  It’s so sad that he died, but at least he died, like, a hero.  People love the hell out of that movie.  He couldn’t have died at a better time.
Teen Girl #2:  I know, totally.
Sarcastic Employee Girl, after teen girls have left:  Like, oh my god I know, good thing he had a movie coming out when he died, otherwise it would have been so tragic.

Eden Prairie, Blockbuster
Overheard by We’ll miss you, Heath.

Waitress:  Can I get you anything to drink?
Mom:  I’ll have a coffee please.
Child:  Umm…
Mom:  Come on, what do you want?
Child:  …
Mom:  You can have anything you want!  Anything!
Child:  (still doesn’t know)
Mom:  It’s like Willy Wonka’s Candy Factory!  You can have anything that you want!
Child:  Cherry Coke!
Mom:  Nooooo! Get orange or apple juice!  You’re not having cherry Coke!

Minneapolis,  Perkins on 60th and Nicollet
Overheard by Kim.

Guy wearing aviators and dirty PBR hat: What’s that movie where Jody Foster gets raped on a pinball machine? It’s a comedy.

Uptown, CC Club

8 year old: Mom can I get an iPod?
Mom: No.
8 year old: But I really want one. Why can’t I have an iPod?
Mom: I said no.
8 year old: Fine, I’m going to scream, “You’re not my real mom,” and that I am being kidnapped.

Minneapolis, Downtown Target
Overheard by Amused older brother.

Woman shopping, to younger guy in a suitcoat and jeans: Do you work here?
Younger guy: No, I’m just good looking.

Bloomington, Macy’s coats
Overheard by Staciaann.

Man walking his dog, picking up after it, talking to himself: If I had a dollar for every time I cleaned up after you, I’d use the money to buy Powerball tickets so I could win and pay someone else to do this for me. But who would pay me the dollar in the first place?

Minneapolis, 28th & Pleasant
Overheard by Copernicus.

Female co-worker on her cell in the break room: I still couldn’t get into the party even after bribing the bouncer with Timberwolves tickets, and they just about won the other night!

Minneapolis, private party
Overheard by Kevin McHale.

College girl, on her 5th or 6th gin and tonic: My New Year’s resolution is to not blackout anymore.
Friend: Oh, so, like, you’re going to drink less?
College girl: Oh my God, NO, I’m still going to drink the same. I’m just not going to blackout anymore! At least not in public.

Minneapolis, Library Bar
Overheard by honey that’s not how it works.

Stoned boy #1:  Duuude, what’s the March of Dimes?
Stoned boy #2: Uhh, it’s that walk for premature babies.
Stoned boy #1: Dude, babies can’t march. I mean, they can’t even walk.
Stoned boy #2: No! No, dude, the money from the walk goes to premature babies.
Stoned boy #1: Ohhhhhh, I got it, dude. Just a little confused there. I mean, premature babies marching… creeeeepy.

Stillwater, SAHS
Overheard by Muffled Laughter.

Dude: In high school I totally repressed my inner dick, and now it comes out.

Minnetonka, Gates Apartments
Overheard by My Blackberry Wishes You A Happy New Year.

Clerk: We can’t sell you that alcohol without ID.
Customer: It’s okay. I’m 18!

Minneapolis, a Liquor Store